Stop Telling Me What I Need to Do, America

Ok, so… this post is going to be extremely petty. To the max petty. But I get so annoyed when I’m told by publications (most notably Buzzfeed) what I “need” to be doing or “should” be doing. For example:

“Three Courses You Need to Take to Monetize Your Blog.”

“40 Restaurants You Should Be Spending Your Hard Earned Money On.”

“678 Reasons Why You Need to Worship Satan.”

Ok, I’ve never seen that last one before. I’m also not here to judge if that one spoke to you.

But seriously… relax, Internet. The sense of urgency in these titles get under my skin as well as I just simply don’t like being told what to do. On some level, I feel a sense of constant anxiety behind the underlying feelings of inadequacy based on the fact that I’m not doing what I should be doing at the present time.

The constant desire of life improvement is prevalent in today’s society. We all just want to get better, do better, and be better. But the insistent reminders of the things and activities that I’m not currently participating in that society and the media says I ought to gets to be overwhelming.

The creators of these articles and headlines need to mind their GD business. A simple suggestion is cute and all but remove the overzealousness from your title – I don’t need it.

I’m sure that may have seemed like a reach for some but if we aren’t reaching, we aren’t achieving, amiright? Plus, I warned you… I’m petty.

For Those of You That Say Queen “Bae”

I have a special hatred in my heart for those who pronounce Queen/King Bey as Queen “Bae”.

Or the BeyHive as the “Bae”-Hive.

Or even using “Bay-Z” as a conjoined name when she is referred to alongside her husband in the media.

Who the hell is “Bae”-yoncé?

When have you ever heard Beyoncé’s name pronounced as “Bae”-yoncé? For those of you that pronounce it as “BAE”, what is wrong with you? Seriously, what is your problem? Your parents didn’t birth you to grow up and refer to our Queen as “Bae”-yoncé; the name her momma did not give her.

For all of you “Bae”-Hive truthers, you need to get right with your ministry and stop disrespecting American royalty. Because, once again, who in the hell is “Bae”-yoncé.

DISCLAIMER: I’m half-joking. I actually mean a lot of what I said. So it’s kind of a joke, but like, stop calling her that. I still love you regardless.